average randomness of zero proportions...
Friday, September 15, 2006
Whirlwind
I just feel as if I'm standing in the picture... looking out... its a beautiful world out there with much to hold. But its so big, you don't know where to go or start; and if I do, I'm afraid to fall...
This one week study break has not done me any justice! Thanks to my incesstant procrastination and utter laziness that has gotten the worse out of me! I've honestly never felt/been this slack before! My housemate can 2nd me on this!
It's been a tough few weeks mentally and emotionally. My mind's been a whirlwind of thoughts and decisions - decisions on the next steps to take, the paths and options that are palced before me. It's times like these that I hate myself for being the over-achiever, perfectionist and self-competitive b**** that I am.
Honestly, I'm afraid and scared to take the next step. It's like stepping into a whole new world out there - one where you don't really know what the future holds. Even after having gotten to where I am today; having gone thru all those tough and lowest points in my life, as well as the good ones... It's ironic how I love challenges but I'm afraid of them.
Communication between my parents and I have not served as the best problem solver of all these problems. I still love them very much and I know whatever has been said, was what they felt was best for their beloved daughter. It's just one of those times you just feel that your parent's don't understand you. Both sides need some 'cool down' time for now. * i still love u mum and dad!*
On a random note: Both my thighs and calf are now brusied from yesterday's touch rugby game! Thanks to speedy gonzales - Isaac, who collided into me while I was going for the try; sending both tumbling to the ground, landing with his studs from his boots jamming into my legs. *ouch*
Concentrate Ja!
Closed her eyes at |9:36 PM|
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